Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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