absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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