It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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