this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We don't watch enough power rangers
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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