my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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