his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
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Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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