My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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