Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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