like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize