Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
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was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
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We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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