I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize