I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
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Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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