Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize