i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize