those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize