You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize