what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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