come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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