It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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