Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize