I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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