some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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