i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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