Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize