I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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