yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
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We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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