i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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