I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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