I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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