Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize