My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize