I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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