I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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