i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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