I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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