I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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