i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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