my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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