how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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