You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize