so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Come on in and take your pants off
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