we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize