At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How does it feel to date your dad?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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