honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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