Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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