YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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