i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize