i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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