Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize