I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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